Making Peace with March
Spring started five days ago. But as I write this, a wintry mix of cold rain and snow is expected to fall in the Northeast (again!), and I am trying very, very, very hard not to just fill this blog with expletives…
I know that I am not alone. Just in the last week, the life of the Punxsutawney Groundhog has been seriously threatened on Twitter and throughout social media, as people seek a scapegoat (or scape-rodent) to blame for the early spring that never was.
But the more I think of it, the more I realize that this year is really no different from any other. It seems that every March, we cling to hopes that we will be basking in beautiful, sunny, sixty-degree weather. And, if it comes, how happy we are! But how often does that really happen?
The truth of the matter is that March seems to be one of those unpredictable, transitional months when the only predictable thing about it is that it usually never turns out the way we imagine. It is very hard to live in the moment during March, at least in the northeast, without any expectations or longings for the future. Interestingly, even its name –“March” — calls us to move ahead, move forward, rather than be present to what is.
But this year, I propose that we all officially make peace with the month of March, and any other transition confronting us. As I anticipate the slush accumulating in my driveway, here are a few reflections that I will keep in mind to help keep my expletives at bay:
Hope, don’t expect – Big difference here. We can hope for warmer weather, a grateful child, a promotion, or whatever a new season or chapter in life may mean to us. But that’s very different than actually expecting something to turn out exactly as planned. If you are attached to a certain outcome, it may prevent you from seeing advantages and opportunities that a different one may bring. The cold rain today, for example, may mean greener grass and fewer droughts come summer. A slow sales month may reveal how you can increase efficiency and growth in other parts of your business. A marriage coming to an end may mean stronger relationships with children or other adults in our lives. Hope without any attachment is the target to aim for. It gives direction to any transition but, unlike expectations, it leaves oneself open and receptive to what’s actually happening at the time.
Embrace Transitions – Often there is a reason why things may be going more slowly than you want them to go. We may long to rush through March because it’s so dreary, but what we may really need to do is be patient and let the seasons unfold in their own time. At the moment, I can’t think of one good reason why Mother Nature believes it’s best to extend temperatures in the mid-40s for another month. However, there have been moments in the past when, in hindsight, I realize why it may have taken longer for, say, a relationship to develop or career to take off. Usually it because I, or it, wasn’t ready, and that there were other things that needed to be cultivated, learned, re-imagined, etc. The transitions are where the real growth happens, so welcome and cherish them as you would an unexpected but admired guest that comes to your home and brings gifts that you didn’t realize you needed.
Fake it – While I don’t suggest you go out in your bikini during a Nor’easter, it sometimes helps to pretend that whatever moment you wish for was already here. So if it’s spring you want, go out and buy that new pair of sunglasses or bright-colored outfit and start wearing them today rather than wait for warmer weather to come. If it’s a new career, go ahead and start networking in that field even though it may still be awhile until your business plan is written or all your credentials are complete. While you should still remain authentic and not get too far ahead of yourself (no surgical procedures, please, until you’ve passed your boards), you also don’t need every single duck in a row to feel like you are making progress toward your desired goal.
Ahh, spring…. we all want March to be over already, have the clouds break open so the sun can shine down and this transitional stuff be behind us once and for all. But instead of marching forward, perhaps we should all spend some time marching in place, exactly where we are, until Mother Nature or whatever other powers that be tell us it’s time for another season to begin.
I know that I am not alone. Just in the last week, the life of the Punxsutawney Groundhog has been seriously threatened on Twitter and throughout social media, as people seek a scapegoat (or scape-rodent) to blame for the early spring that never was.
But the more I think of it, the more I realize that this year is really no different from any other. It seems that every March, we cling to hopes that we will be basking in beautiful, sunny, sixty-degree weather. And, if it comes, how happy we are! But how often does that really happen?
The truth of the matter is that March seems to be one of those unpredictable, transitional months when the only predictable thing about it is that it usually never turns out the way we imagine. It is very hard to live in the moment during March, at least in the northeast, without any expectations or longings for the future. Interestingly, even its name –“March” — calls us to move ahead, move forward, rather than be present to what is.
But this year, I propose that we all officially make peace with the month of March, and any other transition confronting us. As I anticipate the slush accumulating in my driveway, here are a few reflections that I will keep in mind to help keep my expletives at bay:
Hope, don’t expect – Big difference here. We can hope for warmer weather, a grateful child, a promotion, or whatever a new season or chapter in life may mean to us. But that’s very different than actually expecting something to turn out exactly as planned. If you are attached to a certain outcome, it may prevent you from seeing advantages and opportunities that a different one may bring. The cold rain today, for example, may mean greener grass and fewer droughts come summer. A slow sales month may reveal how you can increase efficiency and growth in other parts of your business. A marriage coming to an end may mean stronger relationships with children or other adults in our lives. Hope without any attachment is the target to aim for. It gives direction to any transition but, unlike expectations, it leaves oneself open and receptive to what’s actually happening at the time.
Embrace Transitions – Often there is a reason why things may be going more slowly than you want them to go. We may long to rush through March because it’s so dreary, but what we may really need to do is be patient and let the seasons unfold in their own time. At the moment, I can’t think of one good reason why Mother Nature believes it’s best to extend temperatures in the mid-40s for another month. However, there have been moments in the past when, in hindsight, I realize why it may have taken longer for, say, a relationship to develop or career to take off. Usually it because I, or it, wasn’t ready, and that there were other things that needed to be cultivated, learned, re-imagined, etc. The transitions are where the real growth happens, so welcome and cherish them as you would an unexpected but admired guest that comes to your home and brings gifts that you didn’t realize you needed.
Fake it – While I don’t suggest you go out in your bikini during a Nor’easter, it sometimes helps to pretend that whatever moment you wish for was already here. So if it’s spring you want, go out and buy that new pair of sunglasses or bright-colored outfit and start wearing them today rather than wait for warmer weather to come. If it’s a new career, go ahead and start networking in that field even though it may still be awhile until your business plan is written or all your credentials are complete. While you should still remain authentic and not get too far ahead of yourself (no surgical procedures, please, until you’ve passed your boards), you also don’t need every single duck in a row to feel like you are making progress toward your desired goal.
Ahh, spring…. we all want March to be over already, have the clouds break open so the sun can shine down and this transitional stuff be behind us once and for all. But instead of marching forward, perhaps we should all spend some time marching in place, exactly where we are, until Mother Nature or whatever other powers that be tell us it’s time for another season to begin.